Dr. Celia
00:01 – 00:22
Hey Biz Mom, so last Tuesday I’m standing in my kitchen at 7.30am making my son’s lunch while mentally rehearsing what I need to say in a client call at 9. So I’m spreading peanut butter on bread but my brain is running through so many different things. Did I send that follow up email to a potential client? I need to follow up with the preschool again because they didn’t respond to my email.
Dr. Celia
00:22 – 00:46
Do we have enough groceries for dinner tonight or am I going to be scrambling at 5pm? Oh no, I realized I have to remind my husband tonight about putting out the recycling. So as all these thoughts were going through my mind while I was making my son’s lunch, my son comes to the kitchen and asks me to come with him to see the puzzle that he put together. So as we’re walking towards his room, my mind is filled with household stuff, mom’s stuff, and business stuff that I need to do.
Dr. Celia
00:48 – 01:08
I’m trying really hard to be present for this sweet moment with my son, but part of my brain is still calculating whether or not I have time to write emails that needs to be going out next week. This is mental load. And if this sounds like you, I want to let you know that this is actually what mental load looks like. And if you’re feeling seen right now, you’re not alone.
Dr. Celia
01:10 – 01:39
Mental load isn’t just about having a lot to do, it’s being the family’s default operating system for absolutely everything. It’s making lunch while your brain processes client strategy, family logistics, and business deadlines all at the same time. It’s that constant background processing that you’re never fully present in one moment because part of your brain is always managing the next 17 things that needs attention. It’s wanting to celebrate your child’s accomplishment but struggling to quiet the mental chatter long enough to be fully there with them.
Dr. Celia
01:41 – 01:54
Research actually shows that moms carry 79% of the household mental load compared to dads 21%. 79%! That is a really big number. And here’s what the statistic does not capture.
Dr. Celia
01:55 – 02:16
The emotional weight of being responsible for everyone else’s functioning while also trying to build a business that matters. What the statistics also don’t capture is that we’ve been carrying this mental load long before kids in business. Maybe it was when you were an older sibling expected to help with the younger ones. Maybe you were juggling jobs and schoolwork in college.
Dr. Celia
02:16 – 02:32
Maybe it was when you became a wife and the household responsibilities fell onto you. So if this is such a widespread issue, why have the solutions worked? Why are we still struggling? And this is where like my psychiatry brain kicks in differently from typical productivity experts.
Dr. Celia
02:33 – 02:47
Most productivity advice assumes everyone’s brain works the same way. But as a psychiatrist, I know that’s not true. Your brain’s wiring, your capacity, your processing style, it all matters. A few months ago, I had this four-hour intensive with a client.
Dr. Celia
02:47 – 03:00
Let’s call her Sarah. She’s a coach and a mom of two kids, and she’s tried every mental load strategy. Color-coded calendars, delegation systems, the works. She was beating herself up thinking that she was just really bad at this stuff.
Dr. Celia
03:01 – 03:16
But then she mentioned almost casually that she had ADHD. After hearing that, everything clicked. All that advice Sarah has been following assumed your brain processes and holds information like a neurotypical brain. But Sarah’s brain does not work that way.
Dr. Celia
03:16 – 03:29
She cannot hold concentration for these long time blocks. Too much information at once overwhelms her system. And when I realized this, everything changed. Instead of giving Sarah more systems to manage, I completely shifted my approach.
Dr. Celia
03:30 – 03:45
We started working with her brain’s natural patterns instead of against them. And this moment with Sarah is exactly why I created this quick assessment to help moms figure out how their particular brain actually works. It’s called, What is Your Biz Mom Time Hacking Superpower? Link in the show notes.
Dr. Celia
03:46 – 03:56
Because here’s what I learned. Instead of just treating the symptoms, I need to look at the whole picture. And with Sarah, that meant asking different questions. How does your particular brain work?
Dr. Celia
03:56 – 04:07
What’s your actual capacity right now? What messages did you absorb about productivity growing up? And how are they showing up in your life today? And what’s really happening in your life right now?
Dr. Celia
04:08 – 04:22
And Sarah’s whole picture was complex. She wasn’t just dealing with ADHD. She was also home for a summer with two 10-year-olds, trying to land speaking gigs, and wanting to enjoy time with her kids. Plus, with all this going on, she was starting to feel guilty about not being productive enough.
Dr. Celia
04:24 – 04:43
That’s when Sarah and I decided to work on the strategy aspect of this. I told Sarah she does not need to podcast weekly, blog weekly, and weekly emails because for her that was just too much. We came up with a plan that, look, maybe just once a month works for her. And once I mentioned that, I could hear the relief in her voice when I said that.
Dr. Celia
04:44 – 05:11
I also told her that tech-heavy bundle applications were not playing into her strengths, and they weren’t even bringing her clients. So, assessing her whole picture, seeing everything that’s been going on in her business, with her mom life and just household, we worked with her brain instead of against it, and suddenly she wasn’t fighting herself anymore. We figured out what she could accomplish in her business during those focused 20-minute blocks. We decreased the content she needed to produce because she did not have the capacity.
Dr. Celia
05:12 – 05:29
We streamlined her schedule so she worked limited hours in the summer but had time to get the more important tasks done. And she knew exactly what to prioritize and could enjoy spending time with her kids outside. This is not what’s being talked about. If mental load strategies have not worked for you, it’s not because you’re doing them wrong.
Dr. Celia
05:30 – 05:41
It’s because no one’s looked at your whole picture yet. Think about it. When was the last time someone asked you about your actual capacity right now? Not your ideal capacity, but what your realistic capacity is today.
Dr. Celia
05:41 – 06:04
When was the last time someone considered that you might just be someone who actually performs better under pressure, but you’re forcing yourself into rigid schedules that feel suffocating? Or maybe you’re someone who needs flexibility and variety, but you keep trying to batch tasks because that’s what all the productivity gurus told you to do. The whole picture approach changes everything. And let me give you an example of what I mean.
Dr. Celia
06:05 – 06:21
So I had another client tell me, Dr. Celia, I thought I need to do more in my business. Should I also be doing this course? But when we dug deeper, I realized she was trying to overload her schedule with activities that did not move the needle in her business or bring in income. She was just being busy, not productive.
Dr. Celia
06:22 – 06:36
And the relief in her voice when I said, you do not need to do that. You have enough on your plate. That she received permission to do what she needs to do, but not more than she can handle. And here’s what I want you to know after working with overwhelmed mom business owners.
Dr. Celia
06:36 – 06:49
You have a unique way your brain wants to work. Some of you need to ride the momentum when the energy hits. Others do better with consistent smaller chunks throughout the day. and once you discover how your brain actually wants to work, everything shifts.
Dr. Celia
06:49 – 07:11
Not just your productivity, your whole relationship with work and rest changes. Remember that assessment I mentioned earlier? It takes about 2 minutes and will show you exactly why some productivity advice clicks for you and some feel impossible. You can grab it at www.mindsetcoachmd.com forward dash time quiz and I’ll put the link in the show notes.
Dr. Celia
07:12 – 07:24
And here’s what I really want you to understand. You’ve been trying to fit your unique brain into generic solutions and no wonder you’re feeling exhausted. Because here’s what most people don’t realize about mental load. It’s not about what’s happening today.
Dr. Celia
07:25 – 07:54
It’s what’s happening with everything running in the background. So thank you for tuning in today. Our next week episode, we’re going to be diving deep into something that may blow your mind, how the conditioning and messages you got about work and rest as a kid are still functioning in your everyday present life. And I’ll be sharing the story of a mom business owner whose parents literally took books away from her if they caught her resting and how that childhood programming was actually sabotaging her business 30 years later.
Dr. Celia
07:55 – 08:13
because your mental load isn’t about today’s to-do list. It’s about decades of conditioning about what it means to be productive, valuable, and enough. Until then, Biz Mom, I want you to know you are not broken, your brain is not defective, and you are not lazy or undisciplined. You’re not failing in mental load management.
Dr. Celia
08:13 – 08:22
The advice has been failing you. You’re just trying to solve a deeply personal challenge with generic solutions. And that ends today. I’ll talk to you next week.
