Do you ever notice recurring themes in your life? I definitely do.
Since launching my business earlier this month, I notice with self-coaching, that I would be judging myself. Then I noticed I am judging the judgement.
Thoughts and questions would run in my head:
“I should be further along than I am”
“This is so difficult”
“I have the tools needed to manage my mind. I shouldn’t be in this headspace”
Having judgement and shame towards yourself can be draining. I notice how much negative energy I was using and how it took a toll.
I became discouraged with my business. I worked on it less. I would use social media as a distraction. Guess what I also did? Judge myself for my feelings and actions
Noticing that I was too close into it, I reached out to a coach to dive deeper into what is going on with my thoughts. She asked me an interesting question. “When I notice the thoughts are there, what am I making it mean?” The question gave me pause. My mind started searching for answers. My response was further judgement on my thoughts. She poked further and asked me what is the judgement really trying to tell me?
“That I am scared”
“My primitive brain is trying to protect me”
“It is ok to have negative thoughts. It doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with me”
From that point on, I started approaching judgement with curiosity.
“How is this helpful for me?”
“How can I use this moving forward?”
“What will I make this mean?”
I noticed the feeling of discouragement started to lift. The negative energy started shifting to positive energy. I noticed that there was hope again. My homework to myself is to notice when I am judging myself and to approach it with curiosity and compassion.
My inner critic wants to be heard and understood. I am learning that it is ok. It is ok for judgement to voice its concerns. In its own way, it is trying to protect me. But I can choose what approach I would like to take with it.
Life and career transitions can be difficult. I understand more than most. Sometimes, it helps with speak it out with someone objective like a coach. I am grateful that I did so myself and have a better awareness and understanding on how to listen to my inner critic.
You are welcome to reach out to me to book a discovery call. We can explore this together!
You are loved and enough!
-Celia
