Dr. Celia
00:01 – 00:16
Hey there! Welcome to the final episode in our The Emotions Behind Your Schedule series. And wow, are we ending it with a big one. You know that feeling that you keep putting off your business tasks, not because you don’t care, but because every time you try to start, you just shut down?
Dr. Celia
00:17 – 00:40
Whether it’s opening your task manager, revisiting a project, or making a decision, and you just can’t? That’s not a motivation issue, that’s avoidance. Today we’re going to be diving into one of the most misunderstood patterns in mom entrepreneurship, avoidance. And we’re going to go deep into like, why do we shut down around planning, execution, and business visibility, and how to re-engage gently without the guilt or the hustle.
Dr. Celia
00:41 – 00:56
So, if your instinct has been to back away from your schedule, your goals, and your work, this episode is especially for you. And trust me, I get it. Like, I remember a season where I couldn’t even open my work computer. Not because I didn’t want to grow, but because every time I looked at it, it reminded me of what I had not done.
Dr. Celia
00:56 – 01:09
So I just, like, stopped. And then came the guilt, and the guilt fed more the avoidance. And it’s what I call, like, the shame spiral of productivity. Which is, like, you fall behind, feel bad, avoid, fall further behind.
Dr. Celia
01:10 – 01:40
But here’s the thing like there is a way out and it starts with understanding what’s really happening when we avoid. So let’s talk about how avoidance shows up differently for each of us because just like perfectionism from the previous episode, this is not a one-size-fits-all for mom business owners. First off, there’s the burnt-out overachiever mom business owner. You’re so used to running on discipline and drive for so long that you hit a wall and now you can’t even make yourself care about that perfectly color-coded planning system you used to love.
Dr. Celia
01:41 – 01:53
Your avoidance is not about a laziness. It’s about your brain and your body saying enough. And then there’s like the intuitive energy follower. Like you’re deeply resistant to anything that feels forced or rigid.
Dr. Celia
01:54 – 02:18
Like that project management system everyone swears by, it makes you want to run and hide. Your avoidance kicks in and your business starts to feel more like it should than instead of a flow. For the overwhelmed caregiver, avoidance isn’t about capability, it’s about capacity. Between managing special needs, family responsibilities, or just like a particularly heavy season of life, you just don’t have the mental or emotional space to deal with this.
Dr. Celia
02:19 – 02:40
But those business tasks, they feel impossible right now. And then there’s like the mom business owner who goes through the shame cycle. Like what this looks like is that you pause that launch, the course, or the content plan, and now the longer that you’ve been away, the harder it is to feel like coming back to it. Like every day that passes adds like one layer of like, I should have done this already.
Dr. Celia
02:40 – 02:52
I should have already completed this. Like why haven’t I done this? And finally, there’s the quietly discouraged mom business owner. You’re excited about your business idea, but every time you try to plan or take action, you freeze.
Dr. Celia
02:52 – 03:05
Because implementing something new means that you could mess up, right? So avoidance becomes like your safety net. And here’s what all these patterns have in common. They’re not character flaws or signs that you’re not cut out for business.
Dr. Celia
03:05 – 03:29
They’re protective responses. Your brain and body are trying to keep you safe in the only way they know how. and once you understand that then everything starts to shift because now we can actually work with these patterns instead of fighting against them. So let’s talk about what’s really happening in your brain and body when avoidance takes over because it isn’t about being lazy or uncommitted it’s about it’s actually like really fascinating neuroscience at work.
Dr. Celia
03:30 – 03:51
Your brain has this incredible system for making decisions, especially when it comes to approach versus avoidance. Now think of this of having like two different teams in your brain. Like team approach is all about rewards and possibilities. Like when you get excited about your new business idea or imagine the impact that you can make, it’s your brain reward center saying, hey, let’s do this.
Dr. Celia
03:52 – 04:08
And then there’s team avoidance, led by Yermak Dillah and Insullah. This is the part of the brain that processes emotions and potential threats. So when you’re thinking about putting yourself out there, launching that program, or even just like opening that planner, these areas can go into like hyperdrive. They’re like saying like, whoa, this feels risky.
Dr. Celia
04:08 – 04:26
Let’s back away. And here’s where it gets really interesting for us mom business owners. Your free parental cortex, like think of this as your brain CEO, is supposed to help you balance these competing signals. But when we get overwhelmed, stressed, or just juggling all the things, that CEO gets a bit overwhelmed.
Dr. Celia
04:26 – 04:49
And it’s so natural to understand that, you know? So instead of making a clear decision between approach and avoidance, we get stuck in this conflict. Part of you really wants to move forward with your business, but the other part wants to send these protective signals to protect you from what’s happening to the outside world, and even internally. And when these protective signals get way too loud, we freeze, we avoid, we shut down.
Dr. Celia
04:50 – 05:25
and add in the complexity of mom life where we’re already managing like everyone else’s emotion needs and our systems get to be so overloaded we’re not just avoiding business tasks we’re avoiding one more thing that requires emotional energy and that’s why willpower alone does not work you cannot push through this because it’s a neurological response but once you understand what’s happening you can actually work with your brain instead of against it So how do we actually shift this pattern? Not by forcing ourselves into action. That’s just going to make our protective brain system freak out more.
Dr. Celia
05:25 – 05:37
Instead, we’re going to create what I call a repetitive safety around your business. And I want you to think of it like helping a scared child learn how to swim. Like you do not throw them in the deep end. You start with them sitting at the pool.
Dr. Celia
05:37 – 05:52
Then maybe they’re like dipping their toes in. And each small safe experience builds trust that the water is not threatening. So let’s break this down into gentle steps that work with your brain’s need for safety. So step number one is create a safe connection point.
Dr. Celia
05:53 – 06:13
So choose one tiny way to reconnect with your business that feels completely safe. I mean like tiny. And you could take these for example like reading one positive client testimonial or spending two minutes straightening out your desk or even looking at one old post that you’re super proud of. and do this same small action every day for a week.
Dr. Celia
06:13 – 06:28
We’re teaching your nervous system to recognize, Hey, this is safe. This is okay. So step two is building your safety window. Once that first action feels neutral, like not scary, expand your safety zone slightly.
Dr. Celia
06:29 – 06:57
So for example, this could look like review one section of your planner, write one idea on your business journal, or even open one business related email. The key, stop before you feel overwhelmed. We’re building trust in your nervous system, showing it that business activities can feel safe. And the last step is step three, create recovery rituals and have a gentle reset plan when avoidance sneaks back in because it will and that is okay.
Dr. Celia
06:57 – 07:19
For example, like you could have like a particular playlist that signals business time or like a five minute journaling prompt or even like a physical space that’s just for work that feels safe for you. I want you to remember that we’re not trying to push through the avoidance. We’re creating new neural pathways that associate your business with safety instead of a threat. And that is why traditional productivity advice often fails.
Dr. Celia
07:20 – 07:40
It does not address the underlying nervous system response. But when you build safety through repetition, your brain starts to trust that it’s okay to re-engage again, and it’s okay to engage again. So as we wrap up the emotion behind the schedule series, I want you to remember something important. Your avoidance is not a character flaw.
Dr. Celia
07:40 – 08:11
It’s your brain trying to protect you. Just like we teach our kids like sometimes the best protection is learning to do the scary things safely, not avoiding them altogether. and whether you’re like a burnt out overachiever who needs deep rest or like the overwhelmed caregiver who needs permission to take it slower any other flavor of like I just can’t right now your path back to business doesn’t have to start with a giant leap it could start with sitting it by the pool just dipping your toes in Remember, create one safe connection point.
Dr. Celia
08:12 – 08:32
Number two, build your safety window slowly. Number three, have a gentle recovery rituals ready. And number four, trust that small, consistent safety builds stronger foundations than forced action. And most importantly, notice how this entire approach is the opposite of what the hustle culture is telling us.
Dr. Celia
08:32 – 09:00
Like, we’re not pushing through, we’re not forcing it, we’re not shaming ourselves into action. We’re creating safety through repetition, working with our brain’s natural wiring instead of against it. And if you’re finding yourself needing more support with this, like you’re ready to move beyond the avoidance but do not want to do it alone, I want to invite you to check out Biz Mom Balance Blueprint. Inside, I work with moms who’ve been exactly where you are now, feeling disconnected from the business and unsure how to start again.
Dr. Celia
09:01 – 09:16
We’ll create a space for reconnection, momentum, and building a rhythm that truly respects your season. If this episode resonates with you, I would love to hear your story. Email me or submit your question through the link in the show notes. I’ll be answering listeners’ questions in a future bonus episode.
Dr. Celia
09:16 – 09:36
And if you’re ready to dive deep into understanding your unique time and energy patterns, take my free What’s Your Biz Mom Time Hacking Superpower Quiz. This will help you understand the emotional and behavioral patterns that shape how you work and give you a strategy that fits with your wiring. You’ll find the link in the show notes. And I just want to leave you with this.
Dr. Celia
09:36 – 09:43
You’re doing better than you think, and you are not alone in this journey of reconnecting with your business, one safe step at a time.
